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“My wife wants a divorce! What do I do?” You probably never imagined that you be the man saying this, did you? You love your wife so much and to know that she doesn feel the same way anymore is heart breaking. You wish there was something you could do to change her mind and make her want to work on rebuilding the marriage just as much as you do. You at a loss though. You don know how to get her to see that there still a lot of promise in your relationship. Many men in your situation just give up because they don see any other choice. There is another choice and if you want your marriage to last and to become stronger than it ever was, you have to be the one to take control of this situation and show your wife that being with you is where she needs and wants to be.

If your wife wants a divorce it obvious that your relationship is no longer providing her with everything she needs. Something has changed for her and you need to get to the bottom of what that is. That may sound challenging but when your marriage and future happiness are at stake you need to be willing to do whatever it takes to save them.

Think about your marriage the past few months or years. There is always a point where you can tell that things are beginning to shift for your wife. Perhaps it was when you two stopped being intimate as often as you used to be or maybe your wife has become increasingly more critical of you over the last few months. Once you can identify when things shifted you can then start to determine why. In some marriages the problems are focused more on the wife just not finding her fulfillment anymore. She may feel she missing out on her own life because she taken on a full time role as a wife and mother. Or perhaps you two have been arguing over an issue and it never had a full resolution. This can lead to resentment on the part of your wife which will in turn impact her feelings for you.

You also need to talk to your wife about your marriage and what she feels is lacking or has changed. These can be very challenging discussions and it important that you don push her to open up. She has to want to share with you what she feeling and that won happen unless you are compassionate and understanding. If you typically fly off the handle or become overly emotional when she trying to tell you what she feels or needs, you have to work to control that. Explain to her that you are going to do your best to listen without interruption and you not going to become defensive. She needs to know that she can openly share what is happening with her emotionally.

It may seem ludicrous to allow your wife to leave you if you want to save the marriage, but it something you should consider short term. A trial separation may be a good alternative to divorce at the moment. Giving your wife some time to work through what she is feeling can prove very helpful. Sometimes we don appreciate what we have until it taken away for a time. Discuss this option with your wife if she seems determined to divorce you. It may give you the time and distance that is needed for your wife to fully appreciate just what you bring to her life.
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